TLaneAficionados: A Tobacco Blog

Cigars on Ice…[Beware While Reading]

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Let me be the one-thousandth person to tell you this – today’s music is in the can!

You can’t turn on the radio without hearing some ridiculous tune about body parts, drugs, alcohol, and partying hard. Although the golden age of sound, the 50’s through 70’s had it’s on variety of sultry and raunchy hits that were masked in love, social justice, and odd holistic experiences.

As hard as you may try to ignore much of what you see and hear, there are some things that catch your eye and ears. The media and music industry is making sure that we don’t miss a step or beat when it comes to idiotic things anyone could ever create. Television may be your source for entertainment while others may be radio or internet. As they say, pick your poison. Bring an 80’s baby, radio is my go-to. I enjoy toggling between talk radio, NPR, R&B Soul, Jazz, and Classic Rock.

On this particular day, I found myself coming across a teenie-bopper station. I heard the wide vocal range of a very familiar artist coming across the speaker. The station played a popular song by Beyonce that I’ve heard a hundred times prior. I’m not a huge fan but no matter where you go these days the powers-that-be get a kick out of pumping out Beyonce tunes for your listening pleasure. The song “Drunk In Love” briefly mentions cigars in an intimate, yet recreational sense. I’m by no means saying it’s a rarity to hear a song about cigars. There are many songs in many countries dedicated to the popular past-time. The lyrics are as follows:

Cigars on ice, cigars on ice Feeling like an animal with these cameras all in my grill Flashing lights, flashing lights You got me faded, faded, faded Baby, I want you, na na Can’t keep your eyes off my fatty Daddy, I want you, na na Drunk in love, I want you.

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I’m what most youngsters would consider old. Upon hearing words or phrases that are beyond the understanding of someone born before 1992, the millennials have taught me to refer to Google or Urban Dictionary for new-age clarity. “Cigars on ice” didn’t sound kosher to me but I’m admittedly nosey as hell therefore I decided to check it out for myself. I found an even better website called Genius.com that had more details and contextual significance behind popular songs such as this. So, from my extensive research, I have concluded that the singer could have meant one of two things.

Genius.com gives this explanation: The combination of expensive smokes and drinks serves as a status symbol for the power couple [Jay-Z and Beyonce]. The ideal condition for a cigar is 70°F (21°C) and 70% humidity. Ice, at sub-32°F, is way too cold, so she may not want to leave it there too long.

UrbanDictionary, or slang word usage central, gives this quick explanation: Cigars on ice is a phrase used to describe a man taking a cold shower to relieve his boner. Cigar=boner; on ice=cold shower

Radio has deceived me. It used to be a place for breaking news and information, perspective, and family entertainment. As a father of a computer saavy and studious 9-year old, I think today will be a better than any for us to surrender our birth certificates and join an Amish community. The music there may suck but I hear the lamb chops are great.

By the way, this is the same song where she says, “I been drinkin’ watermelon.” (I’ll leave that one for you sleuths out there to figure out on your spare time.)

Dear Society, I think we’ve lost again.